1. Limit My Screen Time, Except for Endless Scrolling
I promise to reduce my screen time, except when it comes to endlessly scrolling through social media feeds. Who needs productivity when I can be entertained by cute cat videos and memes all day, right?
2. Becoming a Yoga Procrastinator
I aim to become a pro at procrastinating by attending countless yoga sessions. Because let's face it, stretching my deadlines is more important than stretching my body.
3. Embrace My Inner Chef (at Ordering Takeout)
This year, I vow to embrace my inner chef by masterfully ordering takeout from every restaurant in town. Why slave away in the kitchen when I can support local businesses and eat like a king or queen?
4. Saving Money by Shopping Online (Irresponsibly)
I am determined to save money this year by shopping online, but in the most irresponsible way possible. Who needs financial security when you can have a closet full of trendy clothes and random gadgets?
5. Mastering the Art of Overthinking (and Achieving Nothing)
I aspire to become a master overthinker this year, spending countless hours analyzing every decision and accomplishing absolutely nothing. Because why take action when I can drown in a sea of endless possibilities?