1. "Stop Procrastinating, Tomorrow
Because why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? It's not like time is precious or anything."
2. "Limit Screen Time to 12 Hours a Day
Who needs a social life or productive hobbies when you can spend all day scrolling mindlessly through memes and cat videos?"
3. "Finally Try That New Diet... Until Lunch
Because nothing screams commitment like starting a new diet, only to cave at the sight of a pizza slice."
4. "Join a Gym, but Only for the Aesthetic
Because what matters most is not actually working out, but looking good in gym clothes and posting gym selfies on social media."
5. "Learn a New Skill, Like Procrastinating More Efficiently
Because if you're going to procrastinate, might as well become a pro at it and find creative ways to avoid doing anything productive."