1. "Stop Hitting Snooze and Start Actually Waking Up
Because let's face it, your alarm clock has become your sworn enemy and your dreams have turned into Olympic-level procrastination."
2. "Embrace the Plight of Unfinished Projects
Because who needs closure and completion when you can have an overwhelming collection of half-finished DIY projects gathering dust in the corner?"
3. "Become a Pro at Overthinking
Because why enjoy a simple moment when you can analyze every possible outcome, potential disaster, and alternate universe scenario before taking any action?"
4. "Master the Art of Procrastination Olympics
Because waiting until the absolute last minute to start anything meaningful is not only impressive but also a true testament to your ability to sabotage productivity."
5. "Become Best Friends with Your Couch
Because let's be real, the outside world can wait. Your true purpose lies in being a professional couch potato, binge-watching shows and eating copious amounts of snacks."