1. Procrastinate More, Accomplish Less
Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? Embrace your inner procrastinator and watch your productivity plummet!
2. Become a Master of Distractions
Why focus on the task at hand when there's an endless supply of cat videos and social media updates to devour? Make sure to waste countless hours scrolling mindlessly through your phone.
3. Embrace Technology Glitches
From crashing apps to frozen screens, make it your mission to encounter as many technical difficulties as possible. Because who needs smooth sailing when you can experience constant frustration?
4. Forget Important Dates
Birthdays, anniversaries, and deadlines – these are just pesky reminders of your lack of organizational skills. Make a habit of consistently forgetting important dates, leaving loved ones and colleagues feeling unimportant and unappreciated.
5. Take up Extreme Multitasking
Juggling a million tasks at once is surely the path to success, right? Make it your resolution to stretch your multitasking abilities to the limit, resulting in half-completed projects and a frazzled mind.