1. Procrastinate Like a Pro
This year, I resolve to put off tasks so expertly that even my future self will wonder what's wrong with me.
2. Embrace My Inner Couch Potato
I vow to turn binge-watching Netflix into an Olympic sport and earn a gold medal in laziness.
3. Master the Art of Oversleeping
Instead of waking up early and seizing the day, I will proudly hit that snooze button until noon, causing alarm clocks everywhere to question their purpose.
4. Become a Professional Snacker
I'm on a mission to consume an alarming amount of snacks in 2022, becoming the ultimate snacking champion. Move over, average metabolism!
5. Achieve Zen-like Procrastination Balance
I will perfect the art of convincing myself that I'm being productive by multitasking, even though I know deep down it's just an excuse to avoid doing the actual work.