1. Embrace my inner procrastinator
Overthink every decision and delay taking action, because why be productive when I can waste time?
2. Become a master of multitasking
Attempt to juggle so many tasks at once that I end up achieving nothing. It's all about quantity over quality, right?
3. Master the art of overthinking
Spend countless hours analyzing the smallest details of everyday life, because why live in the moment when I can obsessively dissect every situation?
4. Commit to half-hearted commitments
Sign up for numerous activities and never follow through with any of them. Who needs commitment when you can have endless excuses?
5. Develop a highly advanced snooze button technique
Hit the snooze button on my alarm clock so many times that it becomes an Olympic sport. Because starting the day on time is overrated, right?