1. Procrastinate Less, Procrastinate More
Embrace the art of putting off tasks until the last minute, because who needs the unnecessary stress of being ahead of schedule?
2. Exercise Regularly, By Regularly I Mean Once a Month
Let's be honest, committing to a consistent exercise routine is overrated. Embrace the sporadic gym visits and be proud of your occasional bursts of motivation.
3. Save Money, Except for Impulse Buys
Sure, saving money is important, but let's not forget the thrill of spontaneously splurging on unnecessary items. Who needs financial stability when you can have that shiny new thing?
4. Cook At Home, Except for Delivery Nights
Cooking can be fun and cost-effective, but it's essential to have a backup plan for those lazy nights when ordering takeout seems like the only viable option. Why bother washing dishes when you can treat yourself to some greasy delights?
5. Wake Up Early, Except on Weekends...And Mondays
While early mornings are hailed as the key to success, why not indulge yourself in those few blissful extra hours of sleep? After all, Mondays are for recovering from the weekend, right?