1. "Stop Procrastinating, Start Tomorrow
Because why do today what you can put off until tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that?"
2. "Exercise More... Your Fingers
Because if scrolling through social media and playing video games were considered cardio, you'd be a fitness guru by now."
3. "Spend Less Time Talking, More Time Texting
Because why bother with face-to-face conversations when you can hide behind emojis and autocorrect fails?"
4. "Become a Master Chef of Microwave Dinners
Because who needs culinary skills when you have a freezer full of pre-packaged meals ready to be zapped in minutes?"
5. "Embrace Your Inner Couch Potato
Because it's about time you fully commit to perfecting the art of binge-watching and turn laziness into a lifestyle."