1. Embrace Time Management, Maybe Tomorrow
Because procrastination is your middle name and it's time to confront your love for last-minute cramming.
2. Master the Art of Superficial Friendships
Because why bother with deep connections when you can have a thousand acquaintances who barely know your name?
3. Stop Overthinking Everything, Unless It's a Decision
Because spending hours contemplating which socks to wear is totally normal, but making important life choices is just too daunting.
4. Build an Impressive Social Media Persona, Offline
Because it's time to prove that your "adventurous" and "extroverted" character actually exists beyond the perfectly posed photos on Instagram.
5. Become a Professional Excuse-Maker, Get Paid to Avoid Responsibility
Because you've perfected the art of avoiding commitments and it's about time you turned it into a lucrative career.